Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Barsexuality is the new black.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
