i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
