u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
