wat bout pragnant strippers??
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
