I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
