The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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