i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize