He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
