can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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