i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
