are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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