and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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