Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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