I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize