Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Shame - the story of my life.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
