How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Randomize
