Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
