I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Oh god it's open bar.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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