She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
