omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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