if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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