You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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