i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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