I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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