Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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