i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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