Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
