the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
