I would go down on you faster than GM stock
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
