How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I will pee on everything he values.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
