I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
