I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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