I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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