Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Come see our sink grown plant.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
