hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
