I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
