Whoa Z and x make the same sound
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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