He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
