I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
