Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just threw up on my dentist
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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