Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
