I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize