Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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