...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
