i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We left the knife in your bed.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
