So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
