I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
we should paint friendship bongs
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