there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I feel like death gave me a hand job
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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