My first STD was from a foam party
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
