On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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