He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
