So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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