you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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