I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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