and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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