the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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